Episode 3: The Ugly Truth

Miral's school had a morning assembly which everyone hated because it was boring. All the students lined up in order of their classes. Since Aryan and Miral were in the same class, Miral hoped everyday that Aryan would stand next to her. Not on purpose, of course. Just a happy coincidence. I mean, it was possible that the girls would line up and then the boys would line up next to the girls in a separate file and it just so would happen that Miral and Aryan would get placed in their respective files in such a way that they would just be next to each other. It sounded confusing to Miral even in her head, but Miral kept hoping for it anyway.

And Miral had good reason to hope. She had spotted Aryan looking at her. Not the occasional 'accidental' meeting of the eyes, but something infinitely more. He had turned his head around to see her during the assembly, just when the first prayer started and everyone was supposed to join their hands and close their eyes. Miral suspected that Aryan must have thought she'd close her eyes for prayer. The good thing was that Miral never really closed her eyes because she didn't like to pray and didn't even know if she was into the whole God concept. Miral's hawk eyes caught Aryan as he turned and now Miral was living in hope.

Unfortunately, so far she hadn't got what she wanted.

The morning assembly was like this- first there was the prayer, then a patriotic or motivational sing, then the Principal's speech followed by a performance by one of the students. Finally there was the national anthem which was everyone's favorite part because it meant the assembly was over. Everybody agreed that the worst part was the speech and the student performance because that was when all the students had to sit down on the uncarpeted courtyard.

"All students are requested to please be seated", said the Principal in his serious voice. A collective groan filled the air, but everybody adjusted themselves in a seated position.

The Principal's name was Ranjit Joshi but he was better known as Principal Sir. He had more hair in his nose than his hair and his tummy looked like he had tucked a globe underneath his shirt. But what fascinated Miral most was the sheer pink, sweaty glow that made his face look like a glowing turnip but also made him look like a sweet person.

"Today we have some very good news to share", said Principal sir. Miral looked around but saw that Aryan was sitting way behind her. As a last tug on hope, she searched for Piya, but they were sitting in height-wise order and Piya was very short, so she was way ahead in the file. Damnit! Miral didn't know what good news could cheer her up at this moment.

Unbeknownst to Miral's feelings, Principal Sir went on, "One of our students has just received the KPSE scholarship. He's one of our brightest students. Now let me tell you something- this is not an easy scholarship to get. It's a national scholarship and only five students in the country get it. But there's just so much talent in our school, nothing is impossible."

Miral rolled her eyes. She'd never even heard of this scholarship. So she'd been a better student lately, doing better than okay on her tests and actually opening her books on a regular basis at home. But she couldn't dream of a national scholarship. Those things were for the especially smart kids, and Miral wasn't one of them.

Miral heard someone choking ever so slightly. She turned her head by ninety degrees. Sitting right next to her was Abhi. He was shaking his head and murmuring something.

"What's the matter?" she said without thinking. She immediately realized she didn't really know Abhi that much and regretted her decision to speak up.

"Huh?" said Abhi.

 Miral could see Abhi was seriously damaged and hence totally harmless. "What happened?" she repeated.

"Nothing", muttered Abhi, but it was one of those 'nothings' which need a little prodding or maybe even an interested silence to be elaborated.

Miral kept her eyes fixed on Abhi. Abhi covered his face with his hands and said, "You know Sanaa, right?" Miral nodded.

Their conversation was interrupted right then as the assembly broke into an applause. Miral shifted her attention back to the stage where Principal Sir was gesturing a boy to join him. The scholarship boy, Miral thought. Miral knew this boy. His name was Shivram Krishnan and he was a whiz kid of sorts. While the other kids struggled to make it through the school year, he just glided to the future, snagging scholarships along the way. For him, IIT and a fantastic career were just waiting on the other side of the short wall called school. Miral suspected he was a sweet guy too because even though he barely knew her from class nine, he always said, "Hi, how're you doing?" when he saw het in the hallways.

"Lucky guy", muttered Abhi, snatching Miral's attention from the stage. "So Sanaa's your friend?"

"Um, you can say that".

"Did she tell you?"

“She did”.

"I don't know what I did wrong. I always did whatever she asked me to".

Maybe that was the problem, Miral thought.

"I don't know. I was just so impressed by her. She has this cool way of handling everything. Take this for example- she and I have this common friend, okay? So the friend went to her and talked trash about me. But she still dated me. It was only after we were two months did she bring up what the friend said. And she didn't just accuse me or make fun of me like most people would. She was real cool about it. She asked me in this very casual way, you know."

"Is that so?" said Miral, raising one eyebrow. She knew about this incident. Sanaa had told her one day during recess. This was Sanaa's version of the story- "That Abhi guy is such a cheap. He keeps sending me emails and I have this one friend who said he's the clingy type. Like, he's so pathetic, he just hung on my friend's shoulder like a dead weight. And my friend is a boy and it’s like totally a gay thing to do. What a psycho". What confused Miral was that Sanaa had the option of not talking to Abhi, but she always talked to him in this very animated way and eventually went to date him.

Another round of applause. Shivram was on the stage now. He was smiling his usual smile. He had one of those rare smiles that are non-obligatory. It looked like his smile came front just...being happy. And he had no reason to be unhappy. He was the school genius. He wasn't handsome and not the kind of guy every girl has a crush on, but he made up for it by being friendly and everyone loved him. He was the real good guy- nothing fake, nothing out of obligation.

Shivram started with his speech, "It feels great to win this scholarship." He searched for something to say and ran his eyes over all the people in the courtyard. He wasn't one to act like he'd just won an Oscar. Everybody smiled at how unsure he was. He smiled broader and went on, "But it's not like I'm the only one who can do this. A lot of people here can. And you don't have to lock yourself in with your books. I mean, I keep having my share of fun all the time. Whatever I win it's all because of my teachers and my friends and my family, because they're just so helpful".

Shivram said a few awkward thank yous and exited the stage. Miral clapped along with everyone else. A lot of kids got asked up on stage for their little achievements, but they always acted like they were so great. Shivram was refreshing in that way.

Abhi clicked his tongue. "I guess this is just how our lives are".

"What do you mean?"

"The rejections. They happen to us. There are the guys like Aryan and Shivram and girls like Sanaa. The rest of us just have to keep on falling."

Miral sat up straight. "Wait. The rest of us?As in people like you and… me?"

Abhi nodded and it hit Miral like a ton of bricks. Sanaa had once told her the 'Reacher-Settler' theory. It was during Miral's initial days in the school and Miral had asked her something about her then-boyfriend. Miral didn't remember what her question was, bit she remembered Sanaa's answer clearly. "Every relationship has a Reacher and a Settler. I just happen to be the Settler here. He just has to try to reach my level." At the time, Miral had thought that Sanaa was just being mean and arrogant, but maybe Sanaa was just giving out the harsh truth. In that case, Miral would always be the Reacher in her equation with Aryan. It didn't matter if he stole glances in her direction or chanced to stand next to her during assembly. He would always look at her like she was beneath him somehow because he was hot and popular and she was nobody.

Miral heard the sound of het heart break. She was disappointed with herself. Sixteen years of her life behind her and she still had nothing. Nobody noticed her in school and home was an empty, fireless hell because of all the reasons- the reason everything was quiet, the reason they moved from Darjeeling to Mumbai, the reason she had zero motivation to do well at anything. But she didn't want to think about the reasons anymore. She had a choice- be like the pathetic, broken guy next to her or the accomplished guy like the one on stage. She wanted to think ahead. She didn't want to rejected by anybody else. That day, during the national anthem, Miral rejected herself and convinced herself that she'd be exceptional.